Relationships can be difficult even when everything else in life runs smoothly. They need constant care and upkeep. When emotions run high, even the most stable and happy relationships can be affected, and PMS is definitely a highly emotional state. Almost every woman remembers a time in her life when she couldn’t help but get into a fight with someone. During PMS anyone and any behavior can set off an emotional response. Kids, boss, colleagues, lover, best friend or nosy neighbor, are all great candidates for this.
The Good News
The great thing about relationships is that they are very resilient. Yes, it is true that harsh words, anger and frustration will affect them, but they don’t fall apart as easily as we think. We can always take back what we said, we can always apologize and explain to the people around us that it was not their fault that we became angry or emotional, that we didn’t mean what we said, and that sometimes, because of what is happening in our bodies, our control over our emotions is diminished.
Planning Ahead
Let both the grownups and the children in your life know, ahead of time, that during PMS you need some extra help. You can take care of yourself, but you might get irritated or emotional easier, so you need their assistance in order to keep the house or the workplace calm. If they see that you are being disturbed by something that would usually not bother you, they can let it go. In my experience, everybody understands this, even small children, but bear in mind that adults and kids alike will test your limits first! Nobody likes walking on eggshells, so people will try to see how far they can push things. Just be honest and tell them if things get too rough. They will know your limits and they will do their best to maintain a pleasant atmosphere.
PMS Does Not Grant Immunity
You made your explanations ahead of time, you requested the help of your loved ones and your colleagues and now everyone is on board with helping you. This does not mean that you can exploit the fact that people will be more understanding and lenient. Do not use this as your “get out of jail free” card. This is not an opportunity to release repressed emotions. Making people put up with abusive and insulting behavior is not the way to get them back for something that they did days or even weeks ago. Be kind and grateful for their efforts and you will see your relationships with them strengthen and evolve to a new level of trust and understanding.
PMS Is So Much Fun!
Use this time as an opportunity to do more of the things you love and make you happy. Enlist the help of your loved ones: partners and children would rather have a fun day at the beach or at the park with you than spend their time figuring out what to avoid doing so they won’t irritate you. Go to the zoo, spent an afternoon cuddling, do whatever it is that makes you excited and is always a sure way to lift your spirits. Happy, fun experiences create happy memories and are such a great way to bond with people.
Go on! Turn the tables at PMS! It wants to make you miserable, ruin all your relationships, and leave you suffering. Instead, use it as an excuse to bond with your loved ones and create fun moments together. If you do, this is a fight that YOU will win.
Exercise has been shown to be highly effective for treating PMS – See Spark by Dr. John Ratey if you need guidelines – he recommends 6 days a week of 1 hour of cardio, 2 of them with sprints. yeah, that’s right.
Anyhow, quite frankly there was so much wrong here I don’t know where to start. 1. Don’t tell your coworkers about your personal health issues especially emotional ones – that is highly unprofessional. 2. Children should be expected to help mom out all month long so that during PMS time mom isn’t about to have a break down. 3. Partners should be understanding and hold their wives during this really hard time. Sure, that doesn’t give her and excuse to release pent up feelings but, lets be real, if she has repressed feelings so strong that she freaks once a month then maybe there needs to be some conversation – not during PMS perhaps but there needs to be one – cause PMS is a mental health issue, sure, but repressed feelings are real.
Thanks for sharing your perspectives Erin. I really appreciate it.
I just ordered it. Can’t wait to read it! Thanks again Kris.
It’s so wonderful to see a couple teaming up on the issue of PMS. I’m happy for you and your husband Kris!
Thanks for recommending the book. “PMS = Please Make Sense.” I love the title! And I’ll surely check it out!
Hope you like it!!!
Some great advice! My husband and I read a book called The PMS (Please Make Sense) Guide for Men. It was a great book that helped us both understand my PMS and it gave some great tips on dealing with it. This book is a must read for both men and women!!!