PMS Tips for Guys: How to Navigate the MENstrual Minefield

This is a blog for the guys, so, if you’re a woman who suffers from PMS like I do, either figure out a way to communicate these seemingly simply tips to your man or, better yet, send him an email with this link and I’ll do your dirty work for you!

Alright fellas, here’s the deal: Your wife, girlfriend or gal pal suffers from an annoying little syndrome called PMS. Yes, that’s right, once a month your sweetie transforms into a hormonal alter ego not unlike Mr. Hyde. Below are a few tips to help you be supportive as she goes through this difficult time and maybe, just maybe, help prevent your getting yelled at, cried over, or given the much-dreaded cold shoulder.

For starters, don’t let her hear you say that she’s “hormonal”! Just because it’s the truth doesn’t mean it’s going to go over well. We ladies don’t like to admit that we’re under the spell of estrogen. We are control freaks and we’re terrified every month that we’re going crazy. It’s rare that we realize we’re hormonal – until it’s all over. Humor us and give us the space we need to lament about things that never bothered us before and probably won’t bother us again – at least not for another month.

Second, show a little empathy. I’m lucky in this regard, so take a cue from my wonderful boyfriend. Whenever I get cramps, he springs into action. From chocolate ice cream to foot massages, if it’s within reason, he’ll make sure I get it. Here’s why my guy is so attentive: I took the time to explain to him what cramps are and why they are so painful – and now, I’ll do the same for you. Without getting too graphic, cramps are serious business. Essentially, it’s the female anatomy’s way of practicing for the Superbowl of suffering – hard labor. Cramps are low-level contractions just like the ones that come in waves at birth. It’s REALLY not pleasant. I’ve had cramps that have literally made me cry. I’ve wished I was a man and have called my uterus a lot of very not-so-nice names. I’ve even considered going on birth control to calm them, but up until a few months ago, I was a smoker and didn’t want to take on the health risk. Oh, and if your wife or girlfriend uses an IUD, she’s not kidding when she tells you that her cramps are worse than ever. Still, every woman is different and every month is different.

Third, and you probably already know this but it bears repeating: She really feels gross and unattractive during this time. The extra estrogen can lead to breakouts, bloating, oily hair, and an overall lack of energy, which could lead to a lack of effort to look her best. I still break out like a teenager some months, and it’s awful. In fact, it’s downright depressing. So, if she is looking gross and unattractive, don’t YOU be the one to tell her. If she asks you how she looks, tell her she looks beautiful. Look at it this way: When you lose your hair and ask us if it’s noticeable, we tell you it makes you look “distinguished.”

Sorry ladies – I let the cat out of the bag on that one. The things we do for the ones we love!