Last night while I was waiting to get a hair cut, I flipped through the pictures in my iPhone. A few were of some of my girlfriends and me. They brought back fond memories, reminding me of just how precious those relationships are to me. I recalled times when they supported me through some pretty dark tunnels in my life. And other times when we talked about silly things and laughed so much we couldn’t see straight. I do really miss my girlfriends…
According to the head of psychiatry at Stanford in an evening class on the relationship between stress and disease, one of the best things that a man can do for his health is to be married to a woman. Whereas for a woman, one of the best things she can do for her health is to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first the class laughed, but he was serious.
And he’s right. A study by the Harvard Medical School found the physical benefits of friendship so significant that it concluded that not having close friends was as detrimental to health as smoking or obesity. Another study from the University of California in Los Angeles discovered that men and women have radically different reactions to stress. With men, it’s fight or flight; with women, it is what the researchers call “tend and befriend.” When we women are under pressure, we turn to our friends, talk and bond, while men either turn confrontational or disappear and hide out when under stress.
No doubt the love of our girlfriends is good for our physical and mental health. Yet I find myself having fewer such moments of sharing and bonding with my female friends. Many of my girlfriends have moved away, or drifted out of touch due to life circumstances and busy schedules. One of the reasons I created CycleHarmony.com is to maintain a place for girlfriends to connect and support each other, virtually.
Today I am thinking of all of my girlfriends, old and new, near and far. Sending you love…
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For some reason I’ve never been the best at making girlfriends, I mean, I have a few, but I’m not really in touch with them. On the other hand, it’s seems so easy to have a conversation with guys. Sad enough, when it comes to girly topics like this one, I start feeling a bit lonely seeing as it’s not the same talking about it with guys than girls. I am blessed, though, to having a twin sister, because I’m sure she could move along well in life on her own and make girlfriends (she seems to be really good at that), but I would pretty much be lonely if I didn’t have her. I’ve been trying to work on my friendships with my girlfriends to be able to connect better with them, they really are great friends.
Dinaliz, I totally get what you’re saying. I’m the same way. For the longest time I mostly hanged out with guys — they’re pretty easy to get along and deal with 🙂 But I have always longed for the connection with sisters and girlfriends. So in the past few years I’ve made an effort to tend and befriend more girlfriends. The feelings are different. Yesterday I went to a newly discovered Japanese restaurant with two girlfriends. We talked, laughed and enjoyed some good foods. I could totally feel the effect of oxytocin — good stuff! You’re so lucky to have a twin sister. It must feel special 🙂
My best friend moved away almost 7 months ago, and I moved in with my grandparents. I’ve been extreamly lonely, because unlike most 18 year olds I have not been allowed to go and do things with ANY of my friends that I have left here in Ohio. Its mostly a control thing and its very annoying. Most of my friends just stopped talking to me. I’ve been really depressed and sick. The last time I went out to do anything was 5 months ago! I lyed and said that I went and stayed at my mom’s place but I went to an old fried of mine’s….who I haven’t spoken to in over a year, OR been able to stand the last 3 years that her and I talked!
Sorry to hear that RISS. That doesn’t sound fun at all, nor heathy for your happiness and well being! Can you find some ways to stay more connected with your old friends and make some new friends? Personally I find Facebook a good place to stay connected with old friends and make new ones. Of course nothing can replace the real thing. Maybe find an activity group to join so that you can do something you enjoy and make some new friends? Or go to a movie or plan a day trip with some old/new friends?
Sorry I meant to say I like your comment, but accidently pressed the “dislike” button. So sorry about that.
Absolutely! In the process of giving, we are equally filled up 🙂
mhm! amazing how fulfilling it is to give of self unto those ones we so cherish~
Thank you Sapphire Love. Sisterhood and motherhood are truly precious and beautiful. It is indeed one of the best gifts that come with being a girl.
wow~ “tend and befriend” ~one of the most lovely and profound qualities of being a girl! love it!^-^