Is there a pattern to a woman’s mood chart? One moment she’s sweet like honey and the next moment she can get so angry and unhappy!
Have you ever wondered why your sweetie can be so unpredictable?
One moment she’s sweet like honey and makes you feel like you’re the luckiest guy on the planet.
The next she can be so angry and unhappy that you begin to doubt if she really loves you, or if she’s at all happy in your relationship.
Do you feel like you’re forced to go on an emotional roller coaster ride every month?
For a few days a month you feel like you’re on the top of the world, then everything seems to go downhill.
You battle moodiness, sadness, anger, and all sorts of emotions that seem to come out of nowhere, and without any warning, to whack you off balance.
You’re left to wonder, Why is it so hard to be a woman?
During these times, perhaps you think it’s your fault and that you should just be better at dealing with it. You should be happy and cheery all month long.
Or perhaps you think it’s because there’s something seriously wrong in your relationship.
Then the dark clouds clear and everything seems fine again – until the cycle repeats itself, month after month. Confusing isn’t it?
Have you ever wondered what this is all about?
Is There a Pattern to Women’s Mood Changes During a Menstrual Cycle?
I used to think I was quite unique, and that I had a lot of work to do to be a better person.
But as I got older – and hopefully wiser – I began to wonder if there wasn’t some universal pattern to a woman’s monthly mood fluctuations.
And as it turns out, there is.
As you know by now, estrogen and progesterone, those two naughty sex hormones, are primarily responsible for a woman’s monthly cycle.
So their peaks and valleys also have a direct effect on the ebbs and flows of a woman’s moods.
A Woman’s Monthly Mood Chart
Let me illustrate this using a 28-day cycle as an example…
Week 1 (The Spring)
During menstruation, both estrogen and progesterone levels are at their lowest during the entire cycle. So you may feel a little tired and depressed during the first few days of your cycle.
As estrogen begins to increase after your menstruation, you start to feel better.
After the aches and pains and the emotional roller coaster of your last cycle, you begin to feel renewed and refreshed.
Following a long winter, spring is finally here. Your outlook is increasingly optimistic, and your energy begins to turn outward.
Both your energy and moods may be a bit low during the first week of your cycle, especially for the first fews day while menstruating.
So take it easy this week. Try to carve out time to take good care of yourself.
Consider using a heating pad, giving yourself an abdominal massage, eating nourishing foods, and drinking warming tea to promote blood circulation in the uterus. This will encourage the complete discharge of the menstrual blood and uterine lining and help create a healthier and happier cycle ahead.
For more info, read my tips on what to do to reduce period pain and promote healthy menstruation.
Your sweeite may want to be left alone during this time. Her energy is turning inward and she has limited ability to deal with external demands.
So be supportive and give her time and space to be herself. Take on extra household chores, make her dinner, or watch a funny movie with her. Your tenderness will be greatly appreciated.
Week 2 (The Summer)
Estrogen is on the way to its monthly peak. You feel beautiful, sexy and energetic.
Feeling that you’re on the top of the world, your amazing energy flows outwards, generously towards your projects and your relationship. And everyone around you delights in your presence.
This week your estrogen levels rise, your endometrial lining thickens, and the egg matures to its fullest potential for ovualtion.
For more info, read the 4 cardinal signs of progesterone deficiency.
So during this week, consider adding these top 10 fertility foods to your diet, and make sure that your body gets these essential ovulation vitamins. They can help the egg to develop and mature and facilitate its proper release at ovulation.
Otherwise, have fun, start an inspiring project, go out and meet people. Channel your creative energy into productive use. Spead your positive energy. You’re on fire and irresistable!
Week 3 (The Fall)
After ovulation, estrogen takes a steep nose dive, but luckily the increasing progesterone catches you from falling all the way to rock bottom.
You don’t feel as excited, energetic and confident as in the hot summer. Doubt and insecurity creep up on you, and you may feel cranky, grouchy or moody.
Your energy begins to turn inward now, and you feel the need for some downtime to just catch a breath and chill.
Week 4 (The Winter)
When estrogen and progesterone both take a dive in week 4, you’re sent on that wild roller coaster ride.
Angry outbursts, crying spells, depression, irritability, mood swings, fatigue, aches and pains and poor concentration can all hit you, and you don’t know what to expect – or when to expect it.
All you want is to do is withdraw and hibernate in your little cave. But people just won’t leave you alone! What a tough and stormy winter!
But before you lose hope, try and remember that spring is just around the corner.
Around the mid-cycle, estrogen levels are the highest during the entire cycle. They dip down slightly and reach a second peak just one week before menstruation.
Sometimes high estrogen or low progesterone can exhibit similar symptoms. But there are ways you can differentiate high estrogen from low progesterone and come up with a correct diagnosis.
Emotionally, stay on guard. Know that you’re more suspectible to negativivity. So manage your stress, get plenty of rest, set boundaries, protect your precious energy, and keep yourself centered – the best you can.
During these 2 weeks, you need to stay on guard as well. She may fuss about small stuff that usually doesn’t bother her. And she could be more needy, jealous, crital, easily upset – or just plain difficult.
Remember, it’s not all about you. She’s processing her feelings (current or from her past). These unresolved emotions can be easily triggered when she’s most vulnerable hormonally.
Give her space, be supportive, show her love, and lend her your strong shouldners. For more tips, check out my husband’s open letter to guys: 5 Dos and 5 Don’ts when it comes to PMS.
The point I’m trying to make here is very simple. As human beings, we are bound to experience the ups and downs, and ebbs and flows life presents to us.
This is a universal truth.
But as women, we experience physical, emotional and mental ups and downs every month, thanks to our monthly cycles.
When we understand the cyclical nature of our life, relationships, menstrual cycles, moods and energy, we can learn to not take everything too personally, and learn to ride the ups and downs with more ease and grace.
It’s not you or your partner’s fault. No one is to blame. It’s the natural cycles of being a woman.
And each cycle brings about the parts of ourselves to be understood, accepted, and loved regardless. It’s a spiral journey to become more integrated, and more whole.
I want to end this post with one of my favorite sanskrit word “Anicha,” which means “this too shall pass…”
Anicha, anicha… This too shall pass…
Even though there may be a general mood pattern during a woman’s monthly cycle, every woman is different due to her unique physical, emotional and mental makeup, her lifestyle, and her sensitivity to the hormone fluctuations.
So it’s important that you understand the details of your own patterns and that you monitor them closely.
Begin a monthly mood journal, if you like. After one to two months of tracking, you’ll have a good idea about your own mood patterns during a menstrual cycle.
So, what’s your mood chart look like? Please leave a comment to share your thoughts and experiences.
You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay
The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brené Brown
Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype, by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
The Laws of Human Nature, by Robert Greene
Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, by Kerry Patterson
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, by Emerson Eggerichs
The Art of Communicating, by Thich Nhat Hanh