Hormone imbalance is probably the scientific explanation for PMS mood swings, but I’m not sure I understand that at a cellular level. The real world experience is that right before our periods, we strong and generally rational ladies can turn into crazy and irrational creatures that we ourselves do not recognize. We can experience multiple mood swings in less than a minute – faster than the speed of light.
At certain time of the month, you find yourself in a violent argument for reasons that you don’t even recall afterwards. You cry and feel sorry for yourself, even though deep down you know you are blessed beyond measure. You feel irritated by small stuff that you can normally smile away. Then, all of a sudden, you’re happy again for no reason at all. “Ah, no one seems to understand me. I don’t even understand myself,” you sigh.
But if you are ever around children, you notice they have mood swings all the time, too. One moment they are laughing and dancing. The next they are shouting and crying. What happened? Kids don’t seem to be bothered by their mood swings. They are perfectly in harmony with their moods. It’s like a rainbow – natural, colorful, and magical. So why do our mood swings cause so much confusion and pain? Where is our rainbow after we grow into the womanhood?
I thought about this a lot, wondering what our “culture code” for PMS was, the hidden emotional imprints that affect our perception and experience during PMS mood swings. Then it came to me: “It is about control, and the fear of losing it.”
As a modern woman living in America, we are in control all the time. We are in control of our health, our career, our finances, our household and our relationships. We are expected to be super women who hold up half the sky in our modern societies. Society expects us to, and we set even higher standards for ourselves. After all, if we are not constantly reaching for the stars, we are not doing your part as worthy and proud female citizens.
What pressure! Some of us checkout by over eating. Some of us use PMS as an alibi to lose control during certain times of the month when our physiological and psychological fences are down. Unfortunately the repression goes so deep that when we finally lose our hold it has a nearly violent expression.
If you look deeper, though, you will see that PMS is not the problem. It is a solution to the problem. It is your inner voice crying out, “You need to slow down. It is time to take care of yourself.” Listen to your inner voice. It never steers you wrong.
The problem is, we’ve heard the voices, but our Superwoman mentality overrides them: “I can do it. I can do anything, everything, and all at once.” This mentality is so charged and powerful that it runs us over the edge sometimes. If we listen more attentively when it rises up, if we allow ourselves to lose control every so often, if we let some air out of the high-pressure balloon from time to time, perhaps we will find our rainbow. We will be able to express our emotions as children do, watching them come and go like a beautify rainbow…
Having pms now. Been verbally lashed out at the babysitter. How to deal?
Hi Aisyha, I’ve been there. It’s time to take a time out for yourself. Lay down, have a cup of tea, or step out for a walk – you need to catch a breath and recenter yourself. It’s hard with a baby, I know. But a little time away will help cool things down. Hope you feel better!
I loved how you describe the mood swings…Because I am so exactly what you described. ^_^
I’m glad you can relate to this Molly. It’s good to know that we’re not alone 🙂
i.m having my pms now….