My menstruation arrived with force this time. It was heavy and very painful – so painful that I found myself in bed for a whole day. It was a reminder that although my professional projects may have been successful, I had lost track of my personal cycle.
Crawling into bed with my heat pad, I spent the day relaxing, breathing and letting go of tension and pain. I went into the catharsis with intent, let it purge me and let go of stress and worries. The next day I felt refreshed and cleansed, as if I had been through some kind of ritual.
In a way it is a ritual for me, I sort of gather the pain and meet it face to face. Spending quiet time on my own, I face my deepest fears, my darkest regrets and get a fresh look at who I am and what I’m about.
It helps me readdress the balances in me and in my life. It brings my focus back to me, because I am at the centre of my own life. It helps me to both acknowledge and expand my boundaries as I walk through my life.
This time, I was particularly aware of needing to rebalance myself. Why is it so difficult to maintain a good balance all our aspects, or of different parts of life?
Why is it that every time I think I’ve got something in hand, another thing pops out of the box, messes with my head and my routine?
Perhaps it is because it is all about the search. While lying tucked up in bed, I discovered that my needs had changed. I hadn’t noticed during the month, and probably wouldn’t have noticed unless I had been forced to take some time out.
I had the opportunity to pay real attention to what my body was telling me and I felt kind of silly for not having done so for a while. I discovered that I need less carbs and less sleep now than just a few months ago. I have a greater capacity for being still. Coming up to breathe, as it were, I felt more content than I have done in a while.
As I am sensing the changes and getting to know my body again, I am reflecting on the beauty of having such a purifying experience.
It feels so good to emerge on the other side of it, ready for a new month of adventure and challenges. I’ve now got an overview of how to manage the next month, with time to myself and with my loved ones, at work and rest.
I am being mindful and aware of myself and my place in the world. Right now, everything is effortless and flowing. There is a peace and tranquillity in my world these days, as I walk with the moon towards a new cycle.
Finding the community of Cycle Harmony has made a huge difference to me. I am delighted to be writing to you from the Red Tent and hope to share thoughts and experiences you recognise, or find useful to ponder upon. I look forward to working with you all in exploring what it is to be women, and hope to hear from you. ~ Vild