This week I’d like to share with you one of my favourite healing techniques. It’s about learning to love all our aspects, and this is necessary in order to more completely look after ourselves. This technique is about our inner child, and achieving a better balance in our lives. I hope you will find it useful.
At times it may seem as if the child within is always difficult, playing up and causing problems when we want to interact as adults. We might have conflicting emotions or thoughts, or urges to do really inappropriate things. We manage to restrain ourselves, but we’re aware of having wanted to behave in a way that would have been inappropriate to the setting and situation. It’s a bit like having to catch hold of a toddler who’s running towards the tower of cup cakes. You can see it, can’t you.
The reason these thoughts, emotions and impulses crop us is often that we have neglected the child within. Culturally we value adult responsibility very highly, and we often spur ourselves on during the growing phase. Children say things like “When I grow up”, and look forward to putting childhood – and childish ways – behind them. The truth is that it never leaves us. And that’s a good thing, we only need to manage it properly.
We will take a moment to look at what the child within is. It’s that part of us that feels awe, amazed, overwhelmed at impressions from the world around us. That pure joy and exuberance, not filtered through social expectations. And it’s the tantrums of not getting your own way, but perhaps more importantly, it’s the paralysing insecurity of not knowing what to do. Like when you’re three years old and you’ve lost your dad in a crowd. And you know that panic and sheer fear is lurking around the corner. This is the child within, even though we’ve grown into adults a long time ago. The kid is still there, in us, a part of us.
So we need to parent ourselves. Love the hurt little child that you still are, and encourage the child to come out to play and do the things the child loves so dearly. We need to take time to allow the child within to experience the little things that make us so incredibly happy. Watch the stars at night, kick the leaves on the ground.
Over time you will get to know yourself better. You’ll be able to anticipate the child’s needs, just as you do with your own children. You’ll be able to listen to the child’s dreams and fears, and respond appropriately and supportively. When the child within is happy, laugh along. When the child within is insecure, give her a cuddle. See her before you and hug her close, as your arms also envelop yourself. Love yourself as you are, including the child within.
Acknowledging the child within as a part of you is a great way to bring about a better balance in life. Spending time with her, every day, will help you towards more personal fulfilment, as more of your needs are being met. Gradually, insecurities begin to drop away, and a confidence from being loved, and of being good enough starts to come through. Loving the child within sets the child free, but also your adult self. It’s a remarkable process, and such a simple technique. Good luck!
Vild Prestegard is an anthropologist, holistic therapist, Reiki master and public speaker based in Norway. She is a regular blogger for Cycle Harmony. You’re welcome to contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org with questions and comments.