This week I’ve wanted to be alone. I’ve wanted to forget about the whole world, to crawl into a dark little hole and be left all alone. I haven’t wanted to socialise, read or spend time with my partner, and because I’ve still maintained a minimum of those activities I’ve felt really pushed. As if it’s just before I can’t handle any more.
It’s clearing now, but I still feel a kinship with frightened little rabbits scampering off into the woods. It’s not that I’ve been scared, or depressed or even sad. I’ve just had low energy and a deep desire to be – alone. It was confusing at first, feeling so much more tired than usual, so disinterested in what was going on around me.
Then I realised that it was time for my monthly bleed, it is a full moon in a few days and a time of rebirth for me. It is always exhausting at the time, before I find myself rejuvenated, fresh and full of curiosity. As I write this, I’m not fully through my emergence, but I’m heading there. And I thought that in order to support this process I’m going to take tomorrow off, and fully enter into the experience. I know it to be healing, restorative and nurturing to tend to my needs in this way.
Perhaps this is another way of being present at the crossroads that I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. I know that there is a deep, comfortable, sleepy stillness in me that wants to lie down in the moonlight and rest. I know this state to be the most beautiful, creative state of being – where I let go and just follow by being into change. So as I am quietly contemplating the possibilities that might be around the corner, I am heading for an early night with valerian tea. My partner is amazing, he understands and supports in so many ways. Seeing what happens to me as my journey instead of as changing moods, he never makes fun of my world even if it has been strange and somewhat chaotic for a few days.
As I settle down with my cup of tea I remember that out of chaos, order is born. This is one of the oldest myths we have, it is present in several religions and cultures. In a sense, it is a recurring tale of seasons, generations and the passing of time. For me, today, it represents my own womanly cycle – so different this time from before, and yet so familiar. I am Eve today, and every daughter and sister since her. I feel the ancient roots of womanhood in my blood, as I give myself over to sleep and in turn, rebirth. Magical are the mysteries of the full moon.
Finding the community of Cycle Harmony has made a huge difference to me. I am delighted to be writing to you from the Red Tent and hope to share thoughts and experiences you recognise, or find useful to ponder upon. I look forward to working with you all in exploring what it is to be women, and hope to hear from you. ~ Vild
have you tried kava? I’m using a spray now that’s very relaxing. also, bach’s flower essences has good stress relief potions like rescue remedy.
I also like frankincense, it’s so subtle and rich…
Hmm, I know that I like anything woodsy for healing and relaxation: cedarwood is great. Sage is very cleansing, and I always use a smudge stick for cleansing my space. Eucalyptus is cleansing and healing too. Great for breathing easier if you have a cold or have sinus infections/allergies as well.
I love this article. Every time around the full moon I feel inspired to do random rituals to cleanse and renew myself. I know that you should do stuff to attract things during the waxing moon and rituals to banish things during the waning moon, so to me the full moon is a time to renew and start over. A cleansing time, a time to get things back on track. Tomorrow I will do some purification and renewing rituals. Maybe burn some sage to cleanse my space and take a purifying bath.
Nice idea! This full moon I also feel the need to let go and cleanse myself. A purifying bath sounds lovely! Any essential oils are good for clearing and releasing?