Do you keep a to-do-list? I’ve got several lists, for tasks around the house, for work priorities, for leisure activities, people to meet up with and so on. My lists tend to be about this day or this week, and in some instances about this year and perhaps a few years ahead.
I’m quite relaxed about my life-goals because I think that living is about experiencing and savouring, not about ticking stuff off a list. For me it’s the journey that counts. Still lists help me divide my focus between dreaming things into being and conducting everyday practical tasks such as paying bills and taking out the rubbish.
Balance is what it is about – and I’m working on maintaining a good balance between my different aspects such as friend, daughter, lover, writer, researcher, healer and so on. That sometimes means staying up late drinking wine with a girlfriend and sometimes it means getting up early to do yoga or walk in the rain. From time to time I’ll explore new exercises, therapies or approaches to ensure I’m getting the most out of my life, exploring ways to expand and balance myself. I’ll share a few of these approaches with you in the coming months.
But back to my to-do-lists. My most important one was written many years ago, after a difficult relationship ended, and I had a serious talk with myself. I realised that instead of focusing on the other person, I had to address how I wanted to feel. So I wrote a to-do-list for myself.
The to-do-list addressed my different aspects and ensured I identified and filled my own needs. The idea was that once I achieved each item on my list, not only would I be more balanced in myself, but I would also attract balanced people into my life.
For instance, I wanted to feel calm – the implication of that was that I would surround myself with people who are also calm, and who promote my own calmness. I then looked at ways of incorporating calm-promoting activities into my lifestyle. Camomile tea at bedtime, reading poetry, meditating and so on gradually became a part of my daily routine. I realised that I felt calmer – and that I spent more time with calm friends, and had made new friends who exuded a sense of tranquillity. Magic. “I am calm” was ticked off my to-do-list.
The list I wrote back then is all ticked off. I still write new lists, because I’m not complete as a person until my life is completed. This to-do-list is still by my desk though, both to remind me of how far I have come, of what empowerment feels like and also to remind me to not let these habits and attitudes slip out of my life. The to-do-list has given me skills for life – and a life filled with the wonders of joy, harmony and balance.
During the coming months I’ll be working on a way to present these techniques in a book, so that others may share this discovery with me.
Finding the community of Cycle Harmony has made a huge difference to me. I am delighted to be writing to you from the Red Tent and hope to share thoughts and experiences you recognise, or find useful to ponder upon. I look forward to working with you all in exploring what it is to be women, and hope to hear from you. ~ Vild